I'm approximately 1/4 of the way through in writing my book Ghosting. To some, that may seem like a pretty good accomplishment. To others, I'm not even close to accomplishing anything. To me - the jury's still out. I have read, re-read, edited, cut, rewritten, and in every way, shape, or form, tried to mold what I've written into a story that will captivate readers, and leave them wanting more. But as I go through this process over and over, I get discouraged. My writing is crap. This is unreadable nonsense. No one will ever want to buy this book, or read my story. No one will be interested in this topic. Blah blah blah. You get the idea.
I'm sure I'm not alone in my self-sabotage. Other writers probably feel the same way about their own writing at some point. It's the nature of the beast that is writing, or any creative venture for that matter. Any time you put passion into your work, it's personal. If your creative venue is writing - words come out of your mind onto the page, so if it's only mediocre, that is a direct reflection of your mind, right? Well, that's how I look at it sometimes.
Most of the time, trying to put original word after original word, in an original way, and in the correct order can truly be painful. Did that come out right? Does that make sense? Would that character really say that? In that way? What the hell am I doing trying to be a writer???
Now, I don't always feel this way about my writing. There are times when a sentence or scene comes out just right, and I sit back and smile, and say, "yeah, that's good..." Sure, those times are few and far between, but when it happens, it's heaven. In my book of about 100 pages so far, I have maybe four sentences that are like that for me. I doubt that's good enough.
So, I read, re-read, edit, cut, rewrite...rinse, and repeat.