Steps

My blogs in the short duration will most likely be about my new business venture rather than my writing, but it is what’s happening in my life. Plus, this is still “technically” writing…

My friend Sheba recently wrote a post entitled “Two Steps Forward, One Step Back,” and boy can I relate to that one today. It started with the bank – I went to open the business account since I received my EIN (tax ID) number, and have prepared the LLC docs, only to find out the LLC paperwork needs to be filed with the State first. Kind of backwards, since I’ll be paying for the filing with my own personal funds, but makes sense too that they won’t open the account in that type of name until its “official.” I just wish they would have told me that when I was there last week and asked about it… So, Josh and I just continued on our way and grocery shopped for enough food to feed a pack of wild rabid dogs for about a month, and life was good again. For a minute.

Maybe I should have played this game as a child instead of pretending I was one of Charlies' Angels.

Next I moved the Monster Desk back into the office space only to discover that my wireless network adapter doesn’t work with 64-bit Windows 7 on my desktop computer. I’ll need that computer to run on the wireless network until I can get the business lines installed (yeah, still haven’t called them either). SO, off to Radio Shack I will go tomorrow to purchase a new adapter. If you’re the kind of person that likes clicking on links, here’s the link to the adapter I’ll be picking up. The fun just never stops around here.



I'm all about pictures-in-the-blog today.

 So fine, at least everything is in the office now, right? But wait – there’s more! Somehow in the process of moving, oh the 50 feet or so from the living room to the office, my printer committed suicide without me noticing. It didn’t even say goodbye or print a note. I just put new ink in it a few weeks ago too, and this is how it thanks me… the nerve! Add that to the list = printer. Check. (click here Clickers) This time I’m investing in a laser. Inkjets are for sissys! Pfft!

Now it’s 3 am and I just finished my first attempt at a logo, and I can’t say I’m exactly happy with it, but it’s a start. The perfectionist in me (read-OCD) will be messing with it until it’s just right…

meh.

So, two steps forward, one step back? Or three or four? I’ve lost count, but I think that might be a good thing in this case.

Yes it is. :)

Drum Roll Please...

It’s Monday night, and I just spent the better part of an hour clearing space in my third bedroom, heretofore known as the “junk room” or on good days; the “sewing room,” to make room for my (drum roll please) “Office.” Sure, it’s only a work table and comfy folding chair, and I’m on my laptop instead of my desktop, but it works. The door is shut, so I can’t hear the Ghostbusters or Darth Vadar activities on the TV in the living room. My iHome is set up, and I’m listening to one of my favorite Dario Marionelli scores. I have my cup of coffee, and I’m good to go.

For those that read my blog with any regularity, you know that I’ve been unemployed since April, and was at war between my writing desire, and my professional legal career. Fear not, dear hearts, for I have come to a solution. One that more than a few of you have recommended after hearing of my plight.

(Insert another drum roll here. Hey - I was a drummer, we never get solos).

I’m going to start my own virtual paralegal service.

There. I said it. It’s out there for the world to see. Whew! That wasn’t so hard.

Ah, but alas, I know it will be hard. I’m no stranger to running a business: I was a partner in a cleaning business that did really well, and could have even expanded if we wanted it to, but it was extremely physically demanding, and the legal world and school was calling me at the time. Prior to that, I had a secretarial service that only did moderately well. I got what I put into that one, which I admit, wasn’t enough. That was the mid ‘90s though, and the internet was still fairly new, and a pretty slow way to work. Technology has advanced so much since then that I think, if I do it correctly, I can make a pretty good go of it.

I still have a lot of background work and research to do before I hang the shingle, but I am now motivated. One of the terrible things about depression after a job loss, is the inability to concentrate. I already feel invigorated with new purpose, and can feel my ‘spidey senses’ coming around again.

I’m hoping to capitalize on this horrible economy by being a budgetary option to law firm’s whose clients don’t want to pay outrageous fees. Or even to solo practitioners and companies who don’t want the extra payroll. This could be a boon time for us little legal entrepreneurs, if done right.

I’m also going to INCORPORATE my writing skills into what I offer. No longer will I allow it to be a negative smear on my record. My writing is an ASSET to any professional endeavor I undertake, it always has been, and it always will be. Those that disagree will just have to miss out on my fabulous creativity, and ability to “think outside the box.” (do we even say that anymore?)

So now it’s time for me to get busy getting this off the ground. Time to think of a company name, register everything, research the heck out of everything, promote and market the hell out of it, and prepare for the torrent of business that will soon head my way. Ha ha.

Daunted? Hell yes. Determined? Even more so.

Shock and Awe

I received so many words of encouragement after Hope Clark posted my letter to her in her newsletter, I'm in shock at the outpouring of kind words, and in awe of the support for my writing.  I've heard from people from all over the world, and really, am just stunned by the support.  It was unexpected, and most appreciated.

Not only did I receive a tremendous amount of support, I got a ton of great ideas to boot. From blogging more often - which I totally intend to do, to going solo and consulting with my legal career. I have so much food for thought, I'm overfed! The dichotomy of my writing and  professional life, I'm learning, doesn't necessarily have to be so far apart. They can be one, if I do it right. Which I wholeheartedly intend to look into. For sure.

To those that wrote to me - thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for sharing your stories, and giving me even more reasons to go on with my writing.  I know now, that I am not alone in my struggle, and can empathize with those that have gone through a similar circumstance with the whole job/web thing. It's really unfortunate that we creative types even have to consider our "web presence"  as we live our daily lives and try to get by.

I can only hope that my story has encouraged other writers to keep the faith, and keep going with their writing.  If you're a writer, it is who you are - it's what you do, nothing can stop it.

And on that note, I'll sign off, with the knowledge that the writers have united, and had the last word. (As always!)

Take care,
-Amy

Of Course!

I actually have the itch to write, and my laptop is at the Gateway Repair Center being revived from the land of the dead. Since buying it in June, I've had nothing but trouble with it, but in my mind - that's my writing station. I can't get the same "feel" while writing on my desktop computer.

It's all mental - I get that. It's like a weird baseball-player superstition of wearing the same underwear during a playoff, but it is what it is. I hate that I feel this way. Like, if I was a Real writer, I would be able to write anywhere, anytime. Is that true? Or do all writers have their "favorite" places and ways to write?

Maybe if the desktop weren't in the middle of the living room, where I have to contend with 'Ghostbusters' on the TV all day, I could do it. Even headphones couldn't drown out Bill Murray and the Stay Puft Marshmallow man, I'm afraid. (Thanks Josh!)

I really want to get to my edits too. My good friend Jan (I need a nickname for you, since I'm your 'Goddess' lol) has some really great edits for me.

(Thanks again for taking the time to edit Jan!)

I've put off this massive edit long enough. I need to get those first 50 into Page To Fame. I have the desire to do it now, but a huge mental block with no laptop. Or is it an excuse? (here I go a-rambling...) I seem to have excuse after excuse as to why I'm not writing. There's always something that keeps me from it. What am I afraid of? Failure? or success? or both?

In my heart I know I should just buckle down and do it. Part of me is just discouraged by everything and anything, so why even try. Another part of me has hope that someday, just maybe, it will be good enough to someone of importance to do something life changing - like sell. But most of me is just scared. Scared that it sucks. Scared that it will be just another one of my failed attempts at something creative. Scared that I will reinforce the knowledge that I'm no good at anything. If I don't try, I can't fail.

But...

If I don't try, I can't succeed either...

I think I need to follow my Jedi training here -

"Do or do not... there is no try."

The Writer Question, Revisited

I'm struggling with a massive cold/flu bug right now, so this might be muddled, but I need to get this out of my system. I even recently wrote to Hope Clark of Funds For Writers for her insight and opinion on the subject. She may be featuring this situation in her next newsletter, so if you're visiting from there - welcome!

Here's the skinny:

By day, I'm an educated paralegal (meaning, I have a degree and everything!). Well, I should qualify that - I've been unemployed since early April. I'm an Intellectual Property Paralegal (patents, trademarks, etc.), and let me tell you, the jobs in this field are few and far between. I've had some great interviews, but nothing has come to fruition. Here's the rub - I recently had a potential employer, I assume - Google my name, and find my personal website promoting my writing. Upon seeing my website, they decided that my "focus" was not on my legal career, but on my writing career.

While I completely understand their position, if they had truly read at any of the pages they would have seen that I've only published a few short stories (and self-published at that), and haven't even finished writing my first novel!  As I told Hope, unless you see my face plastered on a bestseller in a major bookstore, I still need a J.O.B. to survive! AND - I'm a darned good paralegal too! I loved my job, and I love learning all aspects of the legal world. If anything, my interest in writing makes me a better paralegal!

I like to think that I dodged a major bullet with that particular employer. I don't think I want to work with a firm that doesn't allow for outside creativity, or even hobbies for that matter. It's not like I'm selling porn, or even writing in the erotica genre (no offense to those that do btw). I don't even use swear words in my books. Well, not many...

This situation makes my job search even more discouraging, because now I have to worry that my "web presence" will overshadow my need for a regular income, and a regular job. I'm a single mother, and I have a son with special needs. Once the unemployment runs out, which it tends to do, we'll be in even more financial trouble than we already are. That's pretty darned scary.

Can you tell I've discovered adding pictures to the blog? :)

I refuse to give up on my dream of writing. It's in my bones. But my need for a job is eclipsing those dreams at the moment. Do I keep up my web presence as a writer? Just say "screw you- this is who I am"? Or take it down and stifle my creativity in lieu of a regular income?

Decisions, decisions... and oh yeah, more stress!!

Take care,
-Amy

Happy Happy Joy Joy

It's not going to take much for me to be happy about my writing nowadays.  Just the simple fact that I wrote today is cause enough for a celebration (and a blog post!).  Sure, it's only another three pages so far, but it's THREE PAGES I didn't have a week or a month ago for that matter.

By finally finishing that scene, and that chapter, I'm now inspired to continue with the next chapter and scene, and I'm excited to see where it's going to go - because I have no idea.  This is the fun part of writing without an outline or a plan - it can be a wild ride when the characters surprise you.

So bring it characters! Let's go for a ride!

The Relationship

It’s after 1:00 a.m., and that after-dinner nap that seemed like such a neat idea at the time, is coming back to haunt me. One of these days my sleep will be normal. But then again, my sleep has never been “normal”, and so it goes…

The quiet of my mind about my writing is finally growing restless again, and I can’t tell if it’s out of a true need to write, or out of disgust of not writing recently. I’ve decided I don’t care how or why it’s coming, only that it does what it’s supposed to do – get me to write.

Writing is definitely like a relationship. Initially I fell in love with the idea, couldn’t go a day without doing something with it, thought about it ALL the time, etc., and then real life happened. I started thinking about it less and less, got busy with other things – most of them not that important, really. It then became a love/hate thing, where I dreaded the idea of writing because I just wasn’t “into” it at the time. Then my mind changed on major issues of the book, and I edited the crap out of it. Fickle, aren’t I?

I get that the honeymoon of the novel is over, and it’s time to do the day to day WORK of it. That saddens me some. I want to feel that rush again. The electricity of my fingers flying on the keyboard trying to get it all out of my head and onto the page. Living inside my character’s heads. Visualizing scenes. I want that all back.

I think I can get part of that back at least - if I do the WORK. Like any relationship, you need to do the day to day minutiae, even when you don’t feel like it. It’s life. Suck it up and just do it, right? Right.

I thought about setting little goals for myself – maybe just rewriting that one section that I’ve been telling myself for weeks to do. Or - write so many new pages a day, whether it’s crap or not. But I’m not even going to restrict myself that way. At this point, I think any limitations will only make it harder for me to get started in the first place. I need to start courting my book again, taking it out on dates so to speak, and see where we go from there…