Chew ‘em Up. Spit ‘em Out. Pass.

Not quite two weeks ago I sent the first 60 pages of Indigo to a critiquing service for a paid manuscript review. I will not be promoting this service by giving out their name here, but if you would like to know who it is, feel free to message me personally. The service was to notify me that:

1. they received my manuscript;
2. who it was assigned to for the critique; and
3. the turnaround time.

I did not receive that information as promised. When I followed up within a week of submission, I was told they don’t give out the name of the person performing the critique “due to other work agreements that they have,” and that the turnaround time was 4-6 weeks. That was last Thursday.

In the interest of full disclosure, and as you may be able to tell from my tone – the review was not good.

I received my critique in less than a week, and the critique itself had spelling errors in it. I’m still shaking my head that a paid editor doesn’t know the difference between desert and dessert. Really? And I paid real money for this?  Also, the anonymity of this so-called editor is still bothering me as well – what were their credentials? How am I sure they even have an interest in the genre I’m writing? How do I know they have any credentials at all?

The service was to include the following:

• 12-16 pages of detailed notes on premise, plot structure, pacing, characters, dialogue and marketability
• A graph-based "Emotional Response" chart
• A rating on the "Pass, Consider, or Recommend" scale
• A one-page synopsis to use as a "leave behind" when you get that all-important meeting

It was NOT to include this:

• Rewrite or revise for you, except in the case of providing an example of how to revise on your own.
• Correct grammar, mechanics, and spelling. (Our *** service does correct grammatical errors, including punctuation, capitalization, verb tense, spelling and sentence structure.) However, the story analyst will point out any patterns of surface-level error that may pose a significant problem for you.
• Correct for Industry-Standard Formatting. However the story analyst will point out general and repetitive formatting errors throughout the manuscript.
• Provide any fact-checking.
• Provide answers or advice on legal issues

What I did receive:

• Barely 12 pages of notes, 4 of which were lists of minor grammatical errors
• Instead of a one-page synopsis to "leave behind" when I get that all-important meeting, I got a two page book report giving a blow-by-blow account of each chapter
• One paragraph on concept
• One paragraph on pacing
• Absolutely nothing about marketability

Disappointed? You betcha.

Mind you – they did have some good points in their critique. In my constant changing of PoV and tense, some grammatical mistakes were left in. Okay – mention it and move on – don’t give me four pages listing out each one.

There were a couple questions/suggestions regarding the storyline and characters that were worth my consideration – but not worth what I paid for this crap.

I think the main problem here (and I could be wrong because I’ll never know who the editor is), is that the person who read this was expecting a full-blown science fiction story, when I clearly stated in my submission that it was ROMANCE/sci-fi/fantasy. It’s barely even sci-fi really, as it’s a character driven suspense story, not a science driven story. They even say in the overall notes: “…the romantic tension between our hero and heroine is palpable (and very satisfying for readers).” DUH! That’s the point of a romance novel you twit!

When I first read the critique I was pretty devastated. My writing is crap yet again. The second time through I noticed their grammatical errors, and the apparent haste at which the critique was prepared. As I continue to analyze it, I see that what I’ve written is completely outside of their element and experience. Don’t get me wrong – I’m not completely dismissing their review because it was negative. As I mentioned, there were some good points given, and they’ve been duly noted. I just don’t feel that I received what I paid for. And that is truly disappointing.

With all that being said, my writing may still be crap – but I don’t think the person that got paid to critique my work was necessarily the best to judge that.

Oh, and by the way – here is my ‘graph-based "Emotional Response" chart’:

Not bad for the beginning of a suspense novel I’d say…

Hilarity!

Thanks to Sheba for forwarding this to me - I can't stop laughing! I have a gun in my car... I'm going to go get it.

The Writer Question, Revisited

I'm struggling with a massive cold/flu bug right now, so this might be muddled, but I need to get this out of my system. I even recently wrote to Hope Clark of Funds For Writers for her insight and opinion on the subject. She may be featuring this situation in her next newsletter, so if you're visiting from there - welcome!

Here's the skinny:

By day, I'm an educated paralegal (meaning, I have a degree and everything!). Well, I should qualify that - I've been unemployed since early April. I'm an Intellectual Property Paralegal (patents, trademarks, etc.), and let me tell you, the jobs in this field are few and far between. I've had some great interviews, but nothing has come to fruition. Here's the rub - I recently had a potential employer, I assume - Google my name, and find my personal website promoting my writing. Upon seeing my website, they decided that my "focus" was not on my legal career, but on my writing career.

While I completely understand their position, if they had truly read at any of the pages they would have seen that I've only published a few short stories (and self-published at that), and haven't even finished writing my first novel!  As I told Hope, unless you see my face plastered on a bestseller in a major bookstore, I still need a J.O.B. to survive! AND - I'm a darned good paralegal too! I loved my job, and I love learning all aspects of the legal world. If anything, my interest in writing makes me a better paralegal!

I like to think that I dodged a major bullet with that particular employer. I don't think I want to work with a firm that doesn't allow for outside creativity, or even hobbies for that matter. It's not like I'm selling porn, or even writing in the erotica genre (no offense to those that do btw). I don't even use swear words in my books. Well, not many...

This situation makes my job search even more discouraging, because now I have to worry that my "web presence" will overshadow my need for a regular income, and a regular job. I'm a single mother, and I have a son with special needs. Once the unemployment runs out, which it tends to do, we'll be in even more financial trouble than we already are. That's pretty darned scary.

Can you tell I've discovered adding pictures to the blog? :)

I refuse to give up on my dream of writing. It's in my bones. But my need for a job is eclipsing those dreams at the moment. Do I keep up my web presence as a writer? Just say "screw you- this is who I am"? Or take it down and stifle my creativity in lieu of a regular income?

Decisions, decisions... and oh yeah, more stress!!

Take care,
-Amy

My Writing Is Crap (and other self-sabotage)

I'm approximately 1/4 of the way through in writing my book Ghosting. To some, that may seem like a pretty good accomplishment. To others, I'm not even close to accomplishing anything. To me - the jury's still out. I have read, re-read, edited, cut, rewritten, and in every way, shape, or form, tried to mold what I've written into a story that will captivate readers, and leave them wanting more. But as I go through this process over and over, I get discouraged. My writing is crap. This is unreadable nonsense. No one will ever want to buy this book, or read my story. No one will be interested in this topic. Blah blah blah. You get the idea.

I'm sure I'm not alone in my self-sabotage. Other writers probably feel the same way about their own writing at some point. It's the nature of the beast that is writing, or any creative venture for that matter. Any time you put passion into your work, it's personal. If your creative venue is writing - words come out of your mind onto the page, so if it's only mediocre, that is a direct reflection of your mind, right? Well, that's how I look at it sometimes.

Most of the time, trying to put original word after original word, in an original way, and in the correct order can truly be painful. Did that come out right? Does that make sense? Would that character really say that? In that way? What the hell am I doing trying to be a writer???

Now, I don't always feel this way about my writing. There are times when a sentence or scene comes out just right, and I sit back and smile, and say, "yeah, that's good..." Sure, those times are few and far between, but when it happens, it's heaven. In my book of about 100 pages so far, I have maybe four sentences that are like that for me. I doubt that's good enough.

So, I read, re-read, edit, cut, rewrite...rinse, and repeat.

Am I a “Writer?” or just “Someone Who Writes?”

This is the question that’s been haunting me the last few days, if not weeks, as I find myself completely uninspired to write anything. I have written, but mostly out of a sense of duty, rather than of an urge to “get it out” of my system. Which begs the question; Am I a ‘writer?’ or just ‘someone who writes’ every now and then?

I have this romantic notion about writer’s having to pour their soul out onto the page to get all of it out of their system. As if all the writing and the words are already there, inside them, they just need to type it out – but I’m probably wrong in that perception. Writing is just damned hard work. I have numerous books in the oven, so to speak, but not a single complete novel. I have several finished short stories, and an article that was almost published (before the magazine went belly up), but that’s it. My Writing Cred in full - in all its’ measly unpublished glory. It’s kind of sad when you look at it from that perspective. And daunting, when I look at all that still lies ahead of me on my journey to be published.

I had a long talk with my sister-in-law who is a fellow writer (of screenplays, not of novels), about this today; and about my creeping desire to just give it all up. Of course I got the encouraging cheerleader speech that one would expect: “You’re a great writer! Don’t’ quit!” etc., etc., (insert cliché motivational speech here) ad nauseum. While it did help some, I don’t think it’s necessarily a lack of confidence in my writing that is my problem. When I do write, I think it’s pretty darned good – it’s getting to writing – that’s my obstacle.

It’s not necessarily lack of motivation though, either. I think a lot of it is purpose driven. Almost a “who cares?” type of mentality. I’m not writing to be the next James Patterson (God forbid), or the next Stephen King (although that would be great), it’s not about fame or fortune at all. Well, okay, a big paycheck would be nice, but it’s not my primary reason for wanting to write. I write because I like to think I have something to say, and a unique, or at least entertaining, way of saying it, that maybe someone else out there could relate to. Or even better, be taken away for a minute from their hard lives into another world or drama that I’ve created for them. I think that’s my ultimate goal.

The whole problem is kind of like this blog. Nobody reads it. Nobody’s following it. No one is entertained, or even commiserating with me here. So who cares what I write in it? So am I a blogger? Or just someone who blogs too?

I think the latter.