My Characters; My Friends.

I’ve finished the first 50 pages of Indigo for the WeBook contest and submitted it for judging. It will most likely be a week or so before I start seeing feedback from readers, and my anxiety is palpable. It’s always nerve-racking to send your creative babies out into the world, but this one is especially difficult for some reason. There is always fear of rejection – I think that’s natural for any author, but Indigo gets my blood pumping so differently than Ghosting did. He’s been in my head for so long, nagging at me to get out, and now that I’m doing that – it’s like telling a deeply personal secret to the world. It’s not as though I’m baring my soul, or standing naked in the middle of a mall, but close - I think that’s a pretty close analogy.

I'm ascerred.

When you spend countless hours thinking, writing, reading, re-reading, and editing the crap out of something, it’s hard not to personalize it. It’s even harder not to internalize the characters. They live in your head – and you’re the biographer telling their story. You want to get it right, and you want to do right by them. After all, they are trusting you to tell it correctly. That’s a big responsibility for an author to undertake.

My own imagination brought them to life, sure. But now that they’re here in my head, they’ve evolved into something somewhat real. They have their own personalities, senses of humor, vices, mannerisms, histories, endearing qualities, and character flaws (pun intended). No, I’ve not gone mad with invisible friends. I don’t talk to them - out loud anyway, but they are always present in some way. It’s hard to explain fully. It truly is one of the wonders of being a writer – the ability to create these completely intangible, yet concrete people and scenarios. And as a writer, you live with them almost all the time, whether you want to or not.

So all I can do now is wait for the feedback and criticisms from the contest reviewers with a mixture of excitement and dread. It’s a horrible combination, yet delicious in its own way. In the meantime I’ll just continue writing as though Indigo is the best thing since Shakespeare penned his first sonnet. Until the bubble gets burst by a critic, it’s a good feeling to have.

Ray Bradbury, 1920-2012

The writing world suffered a huge loss today. While he hated the term "science fiction" (he preferred "fantasy"), much of Mr. Bradbury's work is classified as such. When you think of science fiction - you think of Ray Bradbury. He invented dystopia decades before The Hunger Games made it popular.

Most people know him from Fahrenheit 451 (required reading for a lot of high schoolers), The Martian Chronicles, or Something Wicked This Way Comes, but he was so much more.

He published at least 27 books, over 600 short stories (he was the KING of short stories), plays, screenplays and teleplays (Alfred Hitchcock Presents, The Twilight Zone, The Ray Bradbury Theater to name a few), fiction and non-fiction, and even children's literature. He was quintessentially the writers' writer, and would write at least 1,000 words a day - no matter what.

His impact on the imaginations of readers and writers will be felt for generations to come. His passion for creativity will be sorely missed. In reading about his prolific writing career today, I came upon this quote that should inspire any writer (me included):

"If you want to write, if you want to create, you must be the most sublime fool that God ever turned out and sent rambling. You must write every single day of your life. You must read dreadful dumb books and glorious books, and let them wrestle in beautiful fights inside your head, vulgar one moment, brilliant the next. You must lurk in libraries and climb the stacks like ladders to sniff books like perfumes and wear books like hats upon your crazy heads. I wish you a wrestling match with your Creative Muse that will last a lifetime. I wish craziness and foolishness and madness upon you. May you live with hysteria, and out of it make fine stories — science fiction or otherwise. Which finally means, may you be in love every day for the next 20,000 days. And out of that love, remake a world."

A True Pioneer
(AP Photo/Lennox McLendon)

Indigo

Readers and writers both try to picture characters in their heads.

This is my Indigo.

Alex Pettyfer.

You're welcome ladies. ;)

Memorial Day (f.k.a. Decoration Day)

Decoration Day

Sleep, comrades, sleep and rest

On this Field of the Grounded Arms,

Where foes no more molest,

Nor sentry's shot alarms!

Ye have slept on the ground before,

And started to your feet

At the cannon's sudden roar,

Or the drum's redoubling beat.

But in this camp of Death

No sound your slumber breaks;

Here is no fevered breath,

No wound that bleeds and aches.

All is repose and peace,

Untrampled lies the sod;

The shouts of battle cease,

It is the Truce of God!

Rest, comrades, rest and sleep!

The thoughts of men shall be

As sentinels to keep

Your rest from danger free.

Your silent tents of green

We deck with fragrant flowers

Yours has the suffering been,

The memory shall be ours.

                              -- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

My thoughts and prayers are with those who have lost loved ones while in service of our country. May the fallen rest in peace with our gratitude for your sacrifice, and theirs.

-Amy

Writing is a Wicked Bitch.

I’ve been tossing the idea of my novel Indigo around for quite a while now. Two years? At least? Well yeah – a long time. I had submitted the first 5 pages to the same contest I had Ghosting in (which didn’t get past the first 50 pages round btw). The feedback was truly good, and I’ve even had strangers from around the world reach out to me to see where the first 50 pages of Indigo were because they were captivated by the story so far. That has amazed me because I couldn’t see how the first 5 pages of anything could snag anyone’s attention, but it made me feel good nonetheless. People really liked Indigo.

So last night I revisited Indigo after our long hiatus, and my creative juices are now flowing again. I made MAJOR changes – changing the voice from first person to third (uncomfortable!), the tense from past to present (tricky!), and finally decided what the story was going to be about (Yay!). My original premise now feels overdone in the market, and the new one I came up with is good. Really good. But complicated. It will be a challenge to write.

Am I up to this challenge? I have no idea. Knowing my history of leaving things undone when the going gets difficult makes doubt dance around maniacally in the back of my mind.

One of my major problems is pacing. I have NO idea how to pace a novel. Short stories - I’m a pro. If I needed to write the whole thing in 50 pages I could do it, no problem. But 350? Not so much. I don’t know when to reveal what. What is too soon? How much anticipation should there be? How much back story is needed, if any? Argh!

Part of me wants to say screw it, just write it all then mess with it later. But the perfectionist (read, chicken) in me says pick it apart as I go. But that instant dissection of what I’ve written is what’s hindering my progress. It’s a vicious cycle.

Yes dear novel, you are.

My goal for the time being is the first 50 pages for that contest. Once I have that in I’ll be able to see feedback from readers and editors, hopefully addressing the pacing among other things. While it’s not my favorite thing, I need the criticism to make me a better writer.

Lots of people say they like my writing ‘voice,’ which is a huge compliment to me. I know it’s rare to have a good writing voice, so I take deep pride in that. I just hope that my ‘voice’ can say the right things at the right time.

Has this whole blog been a delay tactic to avoid doing the work? You betcha. I need discipline, have you noticed? I need to just do the work. Or as my sis-in-law says: JUST DO IT.

That, in a nutshell, is what makes writing a Wicked Bitch. But for some ungodly reason, I still love her...

Amy Has...

The idea of this exercise is to Google your name and the word "has" after it. It's also normally done with the word "likes" as well - but I think I did that on Facebook not too long ago (well, maybe a few years ago). So, I thought I would see what the Googledom thinks I have.

I had wanted to work on my book Indigo this weekend, but have been too busy to just sit and really think, let alone write. So, the point of this is for me to post something on this blog; whether it be trite, hot monkey crap like this, or a deep essay about my feelings (gasp). Hey, at least it's not another poem...

And awaaaaay we go:

1. Amy has...A crush on Shadow. This is an anime video from YouTube. I looked at the video briefly, and I think Shadow is a Sonic the Hedgehog type-looking-thing... so I'd have to disagree with the 'crush' idea. Now if it said "Amy has a crush on Richard Armitage" that would be a completely different story, and one that I would wholeheartedly support.

This is Shadow. My new boyfriend.

2. 'Baby' Amy has...Hoover fright. This is another video, this time showing a poor defenseless infant being tortured by a vacuum for the viewer's amusement. I'm not so easily amused. I also don't have Hoover fright. Aversion maybe, but no fear here.

Cuz, it's soooooo cute!!!

3. Amy has...a strange connect with Katrina! What? This is a reference to two no-name models with similar beauty brand endorsements. I don't currently have any endorsements. Well, unless you count my CoffeeMate endorsement deal, but that is currently unpaid (and unbeknownst to Nestle).

Ooooooh yeah.....

4. Amy has...the talent to capture all of the qualities we love about Lois: smart, tough, funny, warm, ambitious and, of course, beautiful. Awww, I'm blushing! This refers to actress Amy Adams' upcoming portrayal of Lois Lane in a Superman reboot. However, I agree with the description. :)

You go girl.

5. Amy has...Zero Swag. Another video. And probably true - considering that I have no clue what the current description of "swag" is. It used to refer to merchandise like concert t-shirts, etc. Now, I'm not so sure. So unless they are referring to my copious concert t-shirt collection, I can affirm that I have zero swag. Should I be sad about this? I feel like I should.

Err, yea!

I'm going to stop at 5, since there aren't too many "Amy has" titles, and they're mostly in the descriptions. I've chosen to ignore all of the Amy Winehouse references - because there are just too many, and I'm not too comfortable with joking about the dearly departed (there were some juicy ones though).

So what does Google think you have?

If - By Rudyard Kipling

One of my fondest memories from my childhood includes my father reading Just So Stories by Rudyard Kipling to me at bedtime. Since then Mr. Kipling has held a special place for me in my own library. If is by far one of my favorite poems, and its message still holds true today - especially in trying times, as these are for me.

My hope is that if these are trying times for you - the message will resonate for you as well.

Christina's World by Andrew Wyeth (1948)

If

by Rudyard kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!


(or a Woman. Just sayin'.)